Fragments of Glory
by narniagirl11
Summary: He was tormented by his struggle to hold on to his fragments of glory; to hold on to what he could not be; what he would never be again.
1. Torn

**Author's note:** Hello, Everyone! I'm back with another short story. Don't worry; I'm still working on "Airplanes in the Night Sky" and "Their_Majesties at CairParavel. gov." This story is set pre-Prince Caspian. It's probably like four or five months after the end of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Peter and Edmund are at school. Peter is really struggling and getting into trouble. Edmund has shown everyone how Aslan has changed him and now he is trying to hlep Peter. Now if only Peter will listen, but that's a different story.

This is Part 1. Not sure exactly where I'm going with this story, but it will at least have Part 2. Hope you enjoy it! :)

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**Fragments of Glory**

He was tormented by his struggle to hold on to his fragments of glory; to hold on to what he could not be; what he would never be again.

The struggle occupied his mind constantly. When would he return? Did his country think he abandoned them? He was so absorbed in these thoughts, he barely noticed his settings. He ignored the chaos and the shuffle to make it to class on time. He blocked out the sounds of the school boys around him.

"Pevensie! Look what you've done!" a boy angrily accused, gesturing to his books that were scattered on the ground. Peter turned around, abruptly yanked out of his world of self-pity.

"Really, McAllister, you should watch where you're going," Peter replied hastily.

"Watch where _I'm_ going?" laughed McAllister. "You were the one who ran into me. What's so important in your big head that you can't even watch where you're going?"

"Nothing that you'd care about," Peter retorted bitterly. "If you even care about anything more than being a bully!"

"A bully? Really, Pevensie, I thought you would use more mild language," McAllister remarked coolly.

"Oh, so that isn't mild?" asked Peter.

"Are you calling me a liar?" McAllister demanded.

"And how am I supposed to answer that?" Peter questioned.

"Answer no," McAllister sneered. "Unless you want a fight."

Peter took a deep breath to steady himself. It took great effort to keep his quick temper in check.

"Let it go, Brady," Peter replied and turned away. Brady McAllister stopped in surprise. None of his victims walked away like Peter had just done. It usually came to fists. And so it would, McAllister vowed.

"Coward!" he yelled after Peter, loud enough for all the boys in the hallway to stop and turn. "Stand up for yourself like a man, Pevensie!" At this, Peter winced and paused mid-stride. This was an insult to his honor. No one called Peter Pevensie a coward. But biting back stinging remarks and thoughts of malice, Peter went on again.

Seeing that even his taunts could not draw Peter back, Brady took one of his school books and struck Peter across the back with it. Peter stopped in his tracks. This is what Brady had been waiting for, for he knew that Peter would never submit to the indignity of the blow.

Peter's shoulders rose and fell steadily as his anger boiled. McAllister had no right to speak to him in such a way. He was the High King of Narnia after all. But he heard Lucy whispering, "Not in this world."

Brady's taunting voice broke in again. "Peter Pevensie is a big coward. He won't even defend his honor." Peter whirled around, ready for a fight. He wouldn't let Brady get away with this. He would show Brady McAllister that no one got away with calling him a coward.

Unfortunately, this was what Brady was waiting for. And he struck first. The blow fell on Peter's lower lip. The two boys stopped for a moment at the sight of blood, but Peter could restrain his temper and anguish no longer. He was so angry: he was angry at Aslan; he was angry at his siblings; he was even angry at Lucy's unblemished faith. All the months of torment and bitterness had built up and exploded in this moment as Peter's hand clenched into a hard fist.

This was more than McAllister had bargained for when he first saw Peter's unraveled state as an easy target. He didn't realize how fast Peter's calm demeanor could fade. Peter was ready to strike at any minute.

Suddenly, a hand grabbed his arm and forced him to stop.

"Let it go," the dark haired boy advised. "It's not worth it."

"I shouldn't have to let it go!" Peter retorted bitterly. "I-I'm-"

"I know," the other boy answered. "But you have to let go. That's not how it is in this world."

Brady had no idea what they were talking about. He was just thankful that the other boy had stopped Peter's fist. He now realized that a small crowd had gathered around him. A name was being passed from boy to boy.

"Edmund," one said.

"He's Peter's brother," another said.

Brady began to piece it together. So Edmund was Peter's brother and was trying to keep him out of trouble. They must be close, Brady figured, if the younger was able to calm the elder. How would Peter take it if he, Brady, began to pick on Edmund? Would Peter stand for it?

"Come on, Peter," Edmund pleaded. "The fight isn't worth it, and you know it."

"Edmund!" Peter snapped. "I have sorted. Just leave me alone. I don't need you constantly interfering with my life." Edmund glanced up at his brother in surprise.

"But, Peter, I'm not-"

"I wish you weren't even my brother!" Peter exclaimed heatedly. A gasp of shock rose from the mouths of the other boys. This wasn't the same Peter Pevensie they had known last year.

"Peter!" Hurt flashed in Edmund's dark eyes. "Why – why would you even say that? I don't believe it."

"Then don't, you little traitor," Peter retorted smugly as he watched the keen betrayal in Edmund's eyes. "Why would I even want a brother like you? You could have nearly killed us all. Look what could have happened to the girls!"

"Don't bring Susan and Lucy in to this," Edmund pleaded.

"And why not?"

"Peter." Edmund clenched his jaw to keep from yelling. "This is something for us to discuss privately." He leaned up towards his brother's face and whispered, "Peter, look at yourself! Is this who Aslan chose as High King? Why are you clinging so tightly to the broken shards of your past identity? It's time to start over. Start a fresh page. Peter, please."

Peter began to calm down a bit. His breathing steadied and he thought about what Edmund had said. He knew Aslan didn't want him to act like this. But why should he care what Aslan thought if the Lion had let his kingdom be taken from him. The hurt swelled and mingled with his pride. His rage was taking over his mind.

"Peter, please," Edmund whispered again. Peter sighed and turned away to follow Edmund.

"I'm not finished with you, Pevensie!" Brady threatened darkly at Peter's retreating back.

"Nor I with you, McAllister!" Peter retorted as he looked back. He sent Brady McAllister a last disdainful look, the fire in his eyes still evidence of his burning rage.

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**A/N:** Part 2: coming soon! Please review. :)


	2. Hurt

**Author's Note: **Here's Part 2! Thanks for the reviews on Part 1. I know a few of you were shocked by Peter's harsh words to Edmund. To confess, so was I when I wrote it. But Peter is really struggling and not realizing how he's pushing Edmund away. In this chapter, they try to make up; Peter feels awful, but it may just end in even more anger.

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Outside in the garden, Peter collapsed into a sorry heap on a stone bench.

"Edmund, I'm so sorry," he cried. "I don't know what came over me. It was like – like I couldn't even control myself."

Edmund didn't say anything. It wasn't until now that Peter realized how pale his brother looked.

"Edmund?" he asked.

"It hurts, Peter," Edmund whispered.

"What hurts?" Peter asked.

"What you said," Edmund answered quietly. "Calling me a traitor. That's not who I am anymore." He looked up into Peter's face, his sorrow evident. That look pierced into Peter's cold heart.

"Oh, Edmund." He sighed and buried his face in his hands. "How can I mess things up so much? Life was a lot easier in Narnia. Everything was so…simple. I know better than to call you what I did. So why did I do it? Why did I take pleasure in your hurt?" Peter looked up into Edmund's eyes. Edmund saw the anguish in his face.

"Why do you do this to yourself, Peter?" Edmund asked. "Can't you just let go?"

"Edmund, if I let go, I'm afraid I will never find it again," Peter confessed.

"Sometimes it's worth it to let it go," Edmund answered. "If it's something Aslan wants you to hold on to, he'll bring it back to you. But right now, you need to let go."

Peter sighed. "I try to, Ed. I have tried so hard, but it won't go away. This – this pain that comes from memories of who I used to be won't leave me alone. It keeps me awake at night."

"I know." Edmund nodded. Peter looked surprised.

"Have I been keeping you up?" he asked.

"No. But Peter, I understand, too," Edmund reminded. "You're not the only one who lost their kingdom, their lives, their _home_. Don't you think that Lucy, Susan and I have keenly felt the loss, too? Are you so absorbed in self-pity that you are blind to the sufferings of others?"

Though Edmund meant them as simple rebukes, they shook Peter. Had he been so blind? Had he neglected and hurt his family that much? Peter shook his head. It couldn't be true. Aslan knew that he would never neglect his family.

"Edmund, you're wrong. I didn't-" Edmund didn't let him finish.

"You hurt me deeply today, Peter, but the knowledge that you have failed to see the anguish of your siblings has injured me far worse," Edmund confessed. "Aslan didn't send us back to punish us. He did it because he knows what struggles we must overcome. Change your heart, Peter. Don't lock it away and become bitter. Aslan gives second chances. Look at me! You called me a traitor, but Aslan calls me forgiven. Take back your angry thoughts and let him clothe you in his redemption."

"Edmund, I can't do it. I don't have the strength to let go," Peter protested.

"Peter, with Aslan's help, you can do it. He'll give you the strength," reminded Edmund.

"No, Ed. I have to fix this on my own. Aslan is in Narnia. He can't help me here."

"Peter, you think you're a king," Edmund answered. "But you're no more mature than the rest of those little school boys inside. You aren't even better than that bully, Brady McAllister."

"Edmund, how can you say that after all we've been through?" Peter demanded.

"Because it's true," Edmund replied. "When we came back, you lost the Peter I knew. The Peter who was my brother and my protector is trapped in Narnia. You left him behind!" Edmund shouted. "You abandoned Aslan's plans for your own sorry ones. You can't do this alone, and you know it, Peter."

"I can do it on my own, and I will," Peter decided. "I don't need a Lion always telling me what to do!" Peter stormed off.

Edmund sank to the bench, breathing heavily. He wanted to give up and cry. He knew Peter was hurting, but it wasn't Aslan's fault they left Narnia. Why couldn't Peter understand that they would always fail on their own?

The next minute, Edmund found himself on his knees, his tearful face turned towards the sky, whispering a fervent prayer to Aslan for his wayward brother.

"Bring him back to me, Aslan," he pleaded. "Bring him back to You. Show him the Way. Oh, Aslan, without you, we're lost. Peter just doesn't realize it yet." Edmund bowed his head. "Please, Aslan. Bring him home."

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"Peter!" Lucy shouted as she dashed towards him. Susan hurried quickly after her to meet the boys across the street.

"Hello, Lucy," Peter smiled. "Are you excited for the weekend?"

"Oh, yes!" she exclaimed. "It's so nice to be able to go home on the weekend. I especially like seeing you and Ed."

"Why thank you, Lucy!" Edmund teased. Lucy smiled at him.

"It is good to see you after a week spent with giggling girls and terrible teachers," Susan agreed.

"School's not that awful, Su," Lucy laughed.

"Come on," Peter interrupted. "Or we're going to be late for the train." The four picked up their travel cases and hurriedly crossed the road to enter the Underground. Within five minutes, the four had boarded the train and found seats. Peter and Lucy squeezed into one and Edmund and Susan had to sit in another seat farther back in the car.

"How did your day go?" Lucy asked Peter, slipping her small hand into his larger one. Peter sighed.

"Rough, Lu. It was rough." He gave her a small smile. "How did your day go?"

"Not too bad," Lucy answered slowly. "What happened, Peter?"

"What do you mean?" Peter asked.

"Something happened," Lucy replied wisely. "You're way too quiet. And how'd you get that cut on your lip?"

"Long story short, Lu," Peter explained. "My pride and temper got the better of me and Brady McAllister hit me. And I said some things to Edmund that I shouldn't have." Peter looked down at his hands. "Lucy, I said some things that I knew would hurt him. And it did. But, somehow I didn't feel the guilt then, but now I do. I wish I could take back all those things."

"He'll forgive you, you know," Lucy reminded. "Just give him a chance."

"But what if I don't feel like I deserve his forgiveness?" Peter protested.

"That's just it," Lucy laughed. "Do you think any of us deserve forgiveness for the sins we've done? But in His mercy, Aslan loves us so much that he freely grants that forgiveness. Don't you remember, Peter?" Peter didn't reply. She looked troubled when Peter didn't answer. "Don't you?" she repeated urgently.

"Yes," Peter whispered sadly. "But it seems so far away. Too far for me to reach."

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**Author's note: **Poor Peter. He's still so lost. Do you think Peter will let Edmund forgive him? Or will he continue to blame himself? Please review! I love hearing your thoughts! :)


	3. Mercy

**Author's note:** Here's the next chapter! Hope you enjoy!

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**Chapter 3 - Mercy**

"Ed, are you awake?" Peter whispered into the dark.

"I am now," came the answer.

"Do you want to go down to the kitchen for some tea?" Peter asked.

"Sure," agreed Edmund, dragging himself out of bed. The two boys tiptoed down the dark stairs to the dimly lit kitchen. The full moon shone in the windows and made patterns across the floor. Peter filled the tea kettle and placed it on the stove. Edmund sat down quietly at the table and stared out the window into the shadowy backyard.

Neither boy said a word until the water had boiled and steam rose from their hot cups of tea. Peter cleared his throat.

"I thought about what you said, Edmund," he announced. "And I thought about what Lucy told me on the train. I'm sorry, Edmund. I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't mean to become so absorbed in my sorrow that I would forget about you and the girls. Could you ever forgive me?"

"Yes," Edmund answered. "You're my brother, after all, Peter. How could I not forgive you?"

"Lucy said you would forgive me, even though I feel like I don't deserve it," Peter informed. "But I wanted to make sure that you really felt it; that you're not just saying the words. Do you understand what I mean?"

"Yes." Edmund nodded. "Sometimes it's hard to believe that you're really forgiven. Of course I meant it."

"Thank you, Ed," Peter breathed in relief. "It takes a weight off my shoulders. Edmund?"

"Yes?"

"Did I ever tell you that I'm glad Aslan gave you to me as a brother?"

"Did I ever tell you that I'm glad of the very same thing?"

"Yes, Ed," Peter laughed. "Too many times to count, I'm afraid."

"He has certainly been good to us," Edmund commented. "He's brought us through all kinds of storms. With His help, we've conquered giants and torn down mountains. Remember the year we put an end to the slave trade in the Lone Islands?"

"Yes," Peter answered. "That was a difficult battle. Remember how Susan had all the ladies of the court knitting socks for the orphan children?"

Edmund smiled fondly. "We always said that Susan could be wearing sackcloth and standing in a pig sty and her subjects would still listen and respect her."

"Such was Queen Susan the Gentle," agreed Peter.

"And what about the handsome kings' younger sister, Queen Lucy?" a voice asked.

"Lucy?" Peter and Edmund exclaimed.

"I thought I heard you two up," Lucy announced. "Actually, I heard the tea kettle and assumed you were awake." Edmund grinned. Peter pulled out a chair for Lucy.

"Join us, Lu," he invited.

"I would love to," Lucy agreed. "Yet, somehow I believe the sitting room would be more comfortable."

"No!" Edmund protested. "I'll fall asleep on the couch."

"Then I believe I have the perfect solution," Peter smiled. "Come on!" He led the way up the stairs to the room he shared with Edmund. "We can sit on the beds, and then if we fall asleep, we'll be in bed. Well, at least Edmund and I will be. Lucy will still have to get up and move to her own room." Lucy made a face at him.

"Come on, Lu!" Edmund teased. "It's funny. Besides, we couldn't do it in your room. Susan is still sleeping." In reply, Lucy grabbed a pillow off the bed and threw it at his face.

"Nice one," Peter commented. Edmund seized the pillow and whipped it at Peter. Peter caught it and flopped onto his bed with it held tightly in his arms.

"Peter!" Lucy squealed and jumped on top of him trying to get it back. Edmund fell on top of Lucy, and began trying to tickle her.

"Edmund!" she squealed and buried her face in Peter's back so she wouldn't wake anyone else up.

Suddenly the door opened and they froze.

"What's going on?" asked a sleepy Susan. Peter rolled over, dumping Lucy and Edmund off.

"Catch, Susan!" he exclaimed and threw the pillow at her. "Don't let Edmund and Lucy have it!" A moment after the warning was out, Edmund and Lucy were off the bed and they charged at Susan. She gave a short shriek and threw it back to Peter. Edmund and Lucy were caught in the middle of the tossing.

"Edmund and I are bad," Lucy explained to Susan. "You and Peter are good. You have to keep the pillow away from us." Edmund seized another pillow and began slapping Peter with it. Peter fought back. Lucy attempted to scare Susan by growling fiercely at her. "I'm a Tiger," Lucy announced. "Like our bodyguards back in Narnia. Grrr!" She growled again.

"Lucy!" Susan laughed. Peter and Edmund were still whacking each other.

"Look out!" Peter called to Susan as he threw the pillow at her, ducking out of the way of Edmund's blows. Susan caught the pillow and stared at it. Lucy grinned. Now was her chance.

"Guard yourself, Susan!" she exclaimed. "I am Lucy the Valiant, best swordswoman in all of Narnia!" She jumped at her sister. Fortunately, Peter was watching and saved the pillow before Lucy could grab it.

"Quick, Susan!" Peter commanded, grabbing her arm. "Or else Lucy the Valiant shall have our heads!" He dragged Susan up on Edmund's bed and they stood in the far corner against the wall. Susan held the pillow tightly as Peter stood in front, his eyes merry and bright. "Come on, Lucy the Valiant! Have at us! Or shall you be defeated by Peter the Magnificent. Lucy crossed her arms and glared at him.

"Magnificent always vanquishes Valiant," she complained. "I give up."

"No!" Edmund protested. "Lucy, we can do this. The Valiant _and_ the Just can defeat the Magnificent."

"But you can't defeat the Magnificent and the Gentle!" Susan protested. Edmund and Lucy looked at each other and began to laugh. "What?" Susan demanded. "Just cause I'm Gentle doesn't mean I can't fight. I was the best archer in the land!" To prove her point, she threw the pillow as hard as she could at Edmund's face. It struck him square on.

"OW!" Edmund whined. "You hit me, Susan the _Gentle_!" Then he began to smirk. "Lucy and I win cause now we have the pillow!"

Susan groaned.

"It's alright, Su," Peter answered, putting a hand on her shoulder. "We'll show them who's really Magnificent and Gentle and also the best King and Queen." Peter pretended to draw his imaginary sword. Susan likewise put an imaginary arrow to her bow string. "Ready?" Peter asked.

"On guard," Susan answered.

"Um, Lucy, this might be a good time to say goodnight," Edmund warned.

"Never," Lucy vowed with a deadly look in her eyes. "Bring it on."

Peter jumped off the bed, caught her up, and threw his little sister over his shoulders. Lucy pounded on his back with her fists. Edmund and Susan locked arms, head on.

"Yes!" Susan exclaimed. "Being back in England does have advantages."

"Why's that?" Edmund asked as he struggled.

Susan smiled smugly. "Because here I am still taller and stronger than you." She pushed harder, breaking the arm lock and Edmund fell on Peter's bed. Susan began tickling her younger brother with vengeance.

"Mercy!" Edmund cried out. "Please O my Most Beautiful Majesty! Grant me mercy!"

The sound of a door opening and footsteps cause them all to freeze.

"Peter? Edmund?" Mrs. Pevensie called. "What's going on in there?"

The boys didn't answer. All four exchanged mischievous glances. Setting Lucy quietly back down, Peter put a finger to his lips and crept towards the door. He poked his head out.

"What's going on, Mum?" he asked in a sleepy voice and rubbed his eyes.

"I thought I heard you and Edmund. Never mind, I must have imagined it. Good night, dear." Mrs. Pevensie returned to her room. Peter shut his door and turned around. He tried not to laugh. But it didn't stop. Quickly, the four collapsed to the floor in a heap of giggles.

"You are so wicked!" Susan gasped with laughter and flicked Peter's arm. In reply he pinched the back of her neck where he knew she was the most ticklish. "You _are_ wicked!" she exclaimed.

"The floor isn't very comfortable," Edmund complained, from his sprawled position. His head rested on Peter's ankles. "Get your feet out of my face, Peter." Peter moved and promptly Edmund's head dropped to the floor. "Ow! Fine, put your feet back." Edmund readjusted his head on Peter feet. "Much better," he sighed. Lucy giggled. Edmund poked her in the side and she wrinkled her nose.

Susan pulled her knees up to her chin and rested it upon them. Peter scooted up towards her, forcing Edmund to move again. Lucy squeezed in between Peter and Susan, her head resting on her big brother's shoulder. The four remained there, talking into the wee hours of the morning until they drifted off to sleep.

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**Author's note:** I really don't know where in the depths of my imagination that this scene came from. But it was fun to write! Hope you laughed, or at least smiled. Please review! Thank you everyone who has taken time to review the last two chapters!


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